Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
