I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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