You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
