So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
