Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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