I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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