She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
