Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
