I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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