You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
