i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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