kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
