Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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