Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
