nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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