so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
