what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
