For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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