Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
