Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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