i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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