why didn't you poke me back
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i now understand why vodka
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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