The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She announced her abortion via fbk
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize