Fine. I'll sleep in my office
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
