Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Boobs are out for the taking
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
