Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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