Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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