I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
