God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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