just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
