I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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