You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
