you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
