operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
