Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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