We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
