so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
