i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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