Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
