Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
