What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just fell off a train. Bad.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
