she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i out mim tonsoeep
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