Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
