I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
