I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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