Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
