New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
what the fuck happened to the tacos
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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