And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
