I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
