I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
